If you don’t get the Sportsman Channel (and even if your cable carries it, you still may not get it), you probably don’t know that onetime Braves star Chipper Jones has traded his bat and uniform for a compound bow and camo as star of outdoors show Major League Bowhunter. We immediately wondered how No. 10 would fare against two famous, if fictional, archers who shoot (arrows and film) in Georgia.
Chipper Jones
Hunts for: Trophy deer
Strengths: Well, for one, he’s real. And he batted .303 over a major league career of nineteen years—you know he has a sharp eye.
Weakness: His prey, though fast, is defenseless. Plus, his teams always had a way of falling just short of the “trophy.”
Katniss Everdeen
Hunts for: Nothing big—just food, survival, and the freedom of an entire world
Strengths: Flaming dress. Rebellious streak. Woody Harrelson’s mentorship.
Weakness: Peeta (not PETA—that’s Chipper’s foe). Nothing like a sappy teenage romance to ruin a good action flick.
Daryl Dixon
Hunts for: Food, survival, and the undead
Strengths: Creative zombie slayer. Experienced survivalist. Sex object.
Weakness: Loyalty. First to brother Merle. Then to Carol, whose exile by Sheriff Rick clearly distressed the redneck beefcake in the midseason finale. Will it be his undoing as TWD resumes this month?
Winner: Katniss
Her Hunger Games quarry shoots back. And, like Legolas, Hawkeye, and Robin Hood before her (and unlike The Walking Dead’s Daryl), the Mockingjay has the magical Hollywood quiver of unlimited arrows. Seriously, where do they come from?
This article originally appeared in the February 2014 issue.
