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Author Hollis Gillespie

  • Hollis Gillespie

    Editorial Contributor

    Hollis Gillespie is a humorist, syndicated columnist, NPR commentator, and top-selling author. She has been profiled in Marie Claire, Bust, Writer’s Digest, and Entertainment Weekly. Her television appearances include The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, TBS Storyline, Monica Kaufman’s Closeups, Good Day Atlanta, and TV Land. Her radio commentaries appear regularly on National Public Radio and Georgia Public Broadcasting. In 2004, Writer’s Digest named Gillespie a “Breakout Author of the Year.” The film rights to her first book, Bleachy-Haired Honky Bitch: Tales from a Bad Neighborhood, are currently under option with a major Hollywood studio. Her latest book is Trailer Trashed: My Dubious Efforts Toward Upward Mobility.

 

Love and Enchiladas

I was raised in a trailer two miles north of the Tijuana border. Or maybe that’s open to interpretation, because I wasn’t actually raised there, but I did live there for a while with my mother. Still, I’m fond of this part of my personal history because I think it makes me an authority on all things Mexican, especially food and tequila. Read More

Scattered thoughts

Funny thing: When you donate your body to science, they don’t actually keep it. For me this was a surprise. I thought that was the whole point. Read More

Collector's item

My friend grant Henry is having a baby. Or more specifically, his daughter Mary Grace is the one performing the actual feat of giving birth, and she and her new husband will be the actual parents. But I try not to remind Grant of that. He is too busy buying designer high chairs off the Internet to notice the baby doesn’t belong to him. Read More

For the Lady

There is a little old lady living in the bushes along the on-ramp by my house. I might have imagined her, but I doubt it. The last time I hallucinated, I was seventeen and driving south on the freeway that runs along the California coast. Suddenly I saw wild animals—giraffes, warthogs, and whatnot—running alongside my car, and keeping good pace, too. Read More

Twist and Shout

The hipster waiter keeps calling me “dear,” and it bugs the hell out of me. He’s so young that if I were twice his age, I still wouldn’t be that old. Cut the "dear" crap! I want to shout. I’m a strong, successful woman! Read More

Heartbreak on deck

I’m a sucker for puppies. But I’m not as bad as my friend Kate, who stopped traffic on I-75 in order to scoot a possum to safety from the center lane. To Kate, even possums are puppies. I get it. Read More

Fill in the Blanks

I have chest pains. I’m serious. I am five minutes away from calling an ambulance. The only thing stopping me is that my friend Milt recently called an ambulance because he felt chest pains, and it turned out he was having a panic attack, which is not life-threatening but just as expensive. Read More

Death Becomes Her

I have died five times today already—horribly—and always my corpse has been stumbled upon by my child. This is thanks to my friend Grant Henry, who lately has taken to creating morbid scenarios of my demise during our conversations. Read More

Sticks and Stones

I’m better at breaking arms than legs. Of the four arms I have broken, one belonged to a college boyfriend, who had the misfortune of accepting a ride to class from me one morning. His arm was not the only thing that broke in the ensuing car accident. His head hurtled pretty hard into my windshield too, which cracked like an antique teacup—my windshield, not his head. His head fared fine. Read More

My Hidden History

I thank god every day for the fact that I have no recorded history before the age of twenty-nine. I consider it a huge plus. And when I say “recorded” history, I mean the kind you can Google. Read More