Whenever one of us does something especially artsy or homemakerish or fantastic-recipe-esque, my group of friends and I will call each other “Martha”–after the world’s craftiest ex-con, Martha Stewart, of course.
I’ve found though, that Martha evokes two distinct emotions: intense adulation or equally emphatic disdain. I am decidedly the former. “She’s crazy,” detractors complain to me. “Crazy like a fox!!!” I swoon as my glue-stickied fingers flip to the next page of instructions for this month’s “Easy Holiday Wreath” craft project in Living, and then I proceed to tell tales of bad ass Martha as I imagine her in her erstwhile jail cell, knitting scarves and plotting the rebuilding of her media empire–which she did, successfully, after being released for insider trading after a five-month sentence in 2005.
To wit: Check out this recent interview with Martha regarding her empire. She’s like Superman–“Why get sick? It’s a waste of time.” Oh wait. Wait. I’m sorry, I’ve been gushing.
Let me get to the point. It was announced today that Martha, who will be collaborating with Atlanta-based Home Depot on cleaners, patio furniture, and the like, will also provide stores with 280 paint options by March 2010. Guess who will be lined up outside my local Ponce de Leon outpost like it’s frickin’ Harry Potter release time come March? That’s right, new homeowner moi. In fact, I’m tempted to put off painting any more rooms until I see what palette Martha has up her impeccable sleeve.
Go ahead–give me grief in the comments. I don’t care. Because I’ll just go home and comfort myself with the best cheese fondue recipe on the face of the planet. Oh yeah–it’s Martha’s. And it’s a good thing.