“Real Housewives of Atlanta” episode 419 “All Pomp No Circumstance” recap:
Our episode showcasing a dizzying display of cultural sensitivity opens with Kim still beating that whole “Kim wouldn’t hold an AIDS-ravaged African orphan” comment Cynthia made on the show in January into the ground. “To me, it’s a racist comment, period,” Kim explains in voiceover. Over salads at the Brookwood Grill, Cyn finally apologizes for providing Kim with the only thing resembling a plotline this season — an opportunity to bitch about something someone might have said about her — kinda — on a trip to South Africa she didn’t go on. Apparently, having to drive to Roswell for the mandatory lunch was not punishment enough for Cyn. The pair share an awkward hug and declare a truce.
NeNe and her brand-new assistant Andre are tooling around Hollywood as she talks to producers about acting prospects. The prolonged exposure to Andre is beginning to grate on NeNe’s final nerve. In her defense, Andre, a grown ass man, is bouncing on her luxury hotel suite bed. “I love my gays,” she says in voiceover. “But Andre is very gay. I feel like saying, ‘Can you not be gay for five minutes?'” Here’s a fun-filled cultural sensitivity quiz for NeNe. Take out the word “gay” in your statement and insert the word “black.” Still as hilarious? Thankfully for NeNe, there are no major openly gay producers in Hollywood who might offer her guest shots “Glee” or a 2012-2013 TV season comedy pilot for NBC to worry about offending.
While on the subject of the potentially offensive, Kandi is getting her first taste of the adult sex toy line being manufactured for her. One object in the toy line is shaped like a tube of lipstick. “It’s the cl– stick,” Kandi reveals. “It’s lipstick for your cl–.”
After finishing her funeral home internship with Willie A. Watkins, Phaedra inexplicably invites herself to upstage the historic Atlanta West End businessman’s evening of honors at Atlanta City Hall’s atrium. And then she invites her RHOA castmates after stressing the importance of a “no hoochie skank clothes” dress code. Of course, Cynthia shows up looking like Foxy Brown. As 15 speakers lavish praise on Watkins and his career, the housewives grow ever weary. “A waste of an outfit and a wig,” Cyn moans. Adds Kim in voiceover: “Who the [expletive] is Willie Watkins?” Actually, Kim he owns and operates one of the oldest African-American owned businesses in the city’s West End. He buried Coretta Scott King. Here’s a fun-filled cultural sensitivity quiz for Kim. Take out the words “Willie Watkins” in your statement and insert the phrase “AIDS-ravaged orphans in South Africa.” It’s saying crap like this that might give people the idea you’re racist or something.
Finally, Phaedra unleashes her big news to the crowd. She and Watkins are opening a funeral home together. Promises Phaedra: “We’re gonna give people funerals worth dying for!” But Phaedra’s big news is upstaged by the 10-carat rock Kim is sporting on her finger. Her Atlanta Falcon baby daddy Kroy Biermann has proposed. And another angel gets its wings as the first official RHOA spin-off joins the line-up.
COMING NEXT WEEK IN THE LOOOOG-AWAITED SEASON FOUR FINALE: Kandi holds a vibrating launch party for her adult toy line and NeNe is threatening to leave the Bravo hit franchise and relocate to Hollywood. This is, unless Ryan Murphy watches this episode and recasts her first. . .
