There are plenty of annoying gym-goers who get my eyes rolling. Gail P. Jones is a bit more enlightened than I am. The Decatur-based certified trainer ignores the annoyances and saves her side-eye for the ones who are just doing things wrong. She shares her Top 10 List of Things People Do Wrong at the Gym:
If you want to get technical, southeastern DeKalb’s Arabia Mountain Trail system—fifteen-plus paved miles winding through two nature preserves between Lithonia and Stockbridge—changes names at the county line. The Rockdale River Trail continues along the South River for five miles and, by next summer, will reach Conyers’ Monastery of the Holy Spirit—where, if you want to get spiritual, you can pray with Trappist monks and buy a bonsai tree.
Some people say you should tape a picture of Marisa Miller or Cameron Diaz on your fridge if you want some visual motivation to stay fit and forgo the bon-bons. But I got the hint in person, in the form of two women in hot pants, fishnets and fur legwarmers, go-go dancing to A-Ha at Club Chaos.
It looked a bit like a Rube Goldberg machine at first: straps and chains and Velcro wound together complicatedly. But soon I grasped the basics of it: you wrapped a few straps around your head then attached a dumbbell weight to a chain dangling unattractively from your forehead strap. At that point, you look like you're on your way to (or from) a medieval torture chamber. But, rest assured, you're ready to give genetics some push-back.
A few weeks ago, I promised that I would, quite unscientifically, test out the effects of certain alcohols on my modest (when sober) running ability. I'm here now to transcribe the results, written in a sauced scrawl in a small notebook kept here beside my running shoes, which I now keep near my liquor "cabinet."