Winter Storms 2014

We all know that Atlantans can't cope with snow, and we're generally quick to defend ourselves from critical Yankees who don't understand that you can't stockpile salt and plows for flakes that fall with less frequency than the Spider-Man franchise gets another reboot. But the gridlock that started at noon yesterday and is continuing into this morning can't be blamed on Southern climate. (Gov. Deal: We'll get to your "unexpected storm" comments shortly.) This fiasco provides brutal evidence of metro Atlanta's tragic lack of transit planning (or transit options for that matter) and staggering leadership vacuum.

The jokes comparing the Snowpocalypse to The Walking Dead’s zombie apocalypse have been endless, so we decided to have a match-up of our own.

Just like Georgia governor Nathan Deal’s response to Tuesday’s wintry mix, Atlantans were completely blindsided Thursday night when Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with John Stewart devoted six minutes of airtime to mocking us mercilessly. Describing our traffic snarling weather event as an “ice age doomsday zombie apocalypse,” Stewart pondered: “I can’t even imagine how much snow it would take to bring on the zombie apocalypse. Three feet? Ten feet?” Cut to a clip of a Fox News anchor: “Two inches of snow hit the area.” “Really?” asked Stewart. “Two inches of snow? Is that what happens when the south is confronted by something not specifically mentioned in Revelations?”

When all of us are hunkered down at home, it means no one’s going out for drinks or dinner or a haircut or to a gallery opening. For hourly workers, small retailers, and people in the food and service industries, the shutdown of metro Atlanta—twice!—in a month means millions in lost revenue.

Last Tuesday night, huddled behind the steering wheel in an overcoat, gloves and a hat, Buckhead Coalition president Sam Massell was gridlocked on Atlanta’s main artery, stuck in the slush with the rest of us. As his usual 16-minute Buckhead commute down Peachtree Road slid into an hour, Massell, 86, had time to reflect on half a century of metro Atlanta's mass transit maladies.

Last night, like so many commuters, Braves first baseman Freddie Freeman was stranded on the clogged, ice-covered Atlanta highways, trying to get home. And likewise, while idling behind the wheel, he thumbed out tweets of frustration. Fortunately for Freeman, a resourceful (and perhaps a little crazy) friend was listening.

Serious exercisers aren't put off by the doom and gloom snow, rain, and sleet hitting Atlanta. They find ways to hit the streets, ride bikes, or lug laundry in order to get their exercise fix.