The Walking Dead Awards: “Good thing we’re here”

Season 5, Episode 12: We brought dinner
Photograph by Gene Page/AMC

(Spoilers ahead)

Each week, we comb through the guts of The Walking Dead, much like a horde of hungry walkers, to bring you the episode’s best moments, surprises, and other post-apocalyptic curiosities. This week: Why the Articles of Confederation failed, Carol’s House of Cards, and sustainable housing for the low, low price of $800,000.

Season 5, Episode 12: “Remember”

Best miracle: How can a single possum feed an entire town?

Most sound argument for a strong federal government: The last time we gazed upon a walled community of this caliber it was helmed by the sadistic Governor. With Alexandria, we seem to have a larger, safer, less evil town led by the former U.S. Representative from Ohio’s 15th District (the fightin’ 15th!) Clearly, the nation governs better than the state.

National archives: Interviewing the group is a good way to get to know them, plus we got to enjoy a quintessential trashy reality TV gimmick. Tune in next week to see what happens when we take a group of jaded post-apocalyptic survivors and mix them in with a community whose biggest problem is not having phones.

Best foreshadowing Easter egg: When the show came back in February, the remains of Noah’s town bore the graffiti “wolves not far.” This week, when Carl picked up the book in the attic, we noticed the words “wolf fight” on back of it. Are the wolves the TV version of the comic’s Saviors?

Oldest reference: Rick took us back to season 2 when he finally mentioned Lori by name. So move aside, Maggie. You might have failed to remember your sister, but you’re miles away from Rick’s level of forgetfulness.

Master of the game: We admit we were concerned when we heard Carol waxing poetic about her husband. That was until we realized clever Carol was “keeping up appearances,” just as she instructed Daryl, by creating a sweater-wearing, casserole-making persona as a way to get to know the neighbors. Once again, Carol is two steps ahead.

Best jobs for characters we didn’t hear about: Congresswoman Deanna Monroe assigned jobs to some of the group, but we thought we’d help out with the rest:

Maggie: Undertaker
Carl: Hip-hop star
Judith: Alexandria Safe-Zone mascot
Abraham/Rosita: Washington D.C. tour guides
Sasha: Therapist
Eugene: Night watchman
Daryl: Unemployable. Just let him be.

Best Caryl banter: “I’m gonna hose you down in your sleep.” “You look ridiculous.” Can these two have their own house?

Best kill: This week, we saw the long overdue death of Rick’s mountain-man beard. With a few scissor clips and razor strokes, our fearless leader slew his longest living enemy. Sadly, before the episode ended, we noticed some stubble coming back for vengeance.

Best line: “It’s all about survival now at any cost. People out there are always looking for an angle, looking to play on your weakness. They measure you by what they can take from you, by how they can use you to live.” —Rick

Most disturbing image: Jessie’s porch-smoking-in-the-dark husband creepily welcoming Rick to Alexandria. (P.S.—Are we really stooping to the soap opera-ey plot of Rick falling for a married woman?)

Episode MVP: Carl (yes, we know) for growing up. It’s not easy stepping into your awkward teenage years, especially when you also have to deal with the dead. In fact, we’d like to speak directly to Carl and Enid now. Kids, you may have noticed your bodies are going through some changes . . .

And once again, where exactly does Rick fall this week on the calm/crazy scale?

Illustration by Matt Walljasper, photographs courtesy of AMC
Illustration by Matt Walljasper, photographs courtesy of AMC