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Waiting is the Hardest Part

One of my recurring fantasies involves opening a school for waitstaff. I show up for work wearing tall boots and fishnet stockings, and I have a whip in my right hand. ‚ÄúAchtung, darlings,‚ÄĚ I say, getting ready to lay down the law once and for all. ‚ÄúFirst, don‚Äôt ever fiddle with your hair, and keep those fingernails short!‚ÄĚ

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