Newt vows to rescue marriage from pesky gays


Last summer, a Christian conservative group called The Family Leader asked GOP candidates to sign a so-called marriage vow. The vow is a essentially a pledge to support Christian conservative political initiatives related to issues like marriage and abortion.

Gingrich to sign it, but yesterday sent a lengthy response to the group pledging to support its biggest causes. Among his promises , Gingrich vowed to “defend” marriage by supporting the amendment of the the U.S. Constitution to explicitly ban same-sex marriage, and to be faithful to his wife.

Quoth the Newt:

As President, I will vigorously enforce the Defense of Marriage Act, which was enacted under my leadership as Speaker of the House, and ensure compliance with its provisions, especially in the military. I will also aggressively defend the constitutionality of DOMA in federal and state courts. I will support sending a federal constitutional amendment defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman to the states for ratification. I will also oppose any judicial, bureaucratic, or legislative effort to define marriage in any manner other than as between one man and one woman. I will support all efforts to reform promptly any uneconomic or anti-marriage aspects of welfare and tax policy. I also pledge to uphold the institution of marriage through personal fidelity to my spouse and respect for the marital bonds of others.

In other words, Newt promises that, after a couple decades of well-documented serial adultery, he’s ready to settle down and redouble his efforts to help social conservatives demonize gay people.