RHOA finale recap: Parting shots from The Talls and Smalls, NeNe’s new wine line!

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“The Real Housewives of Atlanta” Season Four Reunion Part Three Episode 423 recap:

We’ll be straight up with you, dear reader: Yes, there was a second part of the three-part fourth season “RHOA” reunion which aired Thursday night on Bravo. It prominently featured gold-digging housewife-in-training Marlo Hampton. We simply pretended it wasn’t on. Had we been forced to watch,  it’s extremely likely MARTA police would have eventually found us in a fetal position clutching an empty bottle of Bacardi 151, rocking back and forth under a seat on an abandoned train at the Hartsfield-Jackson station.

 Alas, we were back at the Housewives Home Office (H.H.O. Central) Sunday night as the third — and final — reunion episode (filmed at the Biltmore last month) simultaneously gripped the nation/induced yawns. The evening’s interviewer? Bravo executive and “Watch What Happens” host Andy Cohen, the television equivalent of post-nasal drip; a malady that, while irritating, rarely requires medical attention.

 For starters, Marlo is still on set and still talking, specifically, about Internet accusations that Kandi is a sugar mama. The Grammy winner shuts this down quick, explaining to all: “The man I love is who I’ll date. Mind you, I don’t give damn. If I wanted to take care of every mother [expletive] in here, I could! You’re just looking for the next person to pay for your [expletive]!”

 With a pat of butter delicately resting on her tongue, Marlo turns to Cohen and says, “I’ve always been taught it’s a man’s job to protect and provide. Sometimes, I guess women have to protect and provide.” Kandi’s reply? “My new house? It’s paid for. My car is paid for. You really want to come at me about money? Seriously?!”

Before releasing Marlo back into the wild to score her eighth police mug shot, Cohen opts to ask about her dropping the f-bomb while in South Africa. “It just tore me up that night,” Marlo recalls with the emotional intensity of “CSI: Miami” corpse, referring to her slinging the gay slur during an argument. Cohen: “Tore you up what night?” Marlo: “The night I said it.” Cohen: “But you denied saying it, initially.” Marlo: “I did deny it because Sheree was standing there smiling.”

When asked what she’s learned in the highly publicized fall out, Marlo says, “To think before I speak. It will never be said again. But I will use queen, though!” Because he has apparently now trademarked the word, Cohen replies, “You can use queen.”

 The reunion also provides viewers with a rare “RHOA” history lesson. NeNe reveals that she brought Kim and Sheree to the attention of producers when they were first casting the show five years ago. “At first, they weren’t looking for Caucasian women but I told them about Kim and they met her and they thought she was great,” NeNe recalls. Adds Kim: “They weren’t looking for someone white. That was not in their plan at all.” Turning to NeNe, she adds: “I’m very grateful. I wouldn’t have my husband or little man.”

 Cohen then grants the ladies a moment to pimp their various projects, including NeNe’s new wine, Miss Moscato, Phaedra and Apollo’s upcoming exercise DVD accentuating the “donkey booty,” Kim’s new country single, “Love Me First” and naturally, Bravo’s own line of “I’m a Tall” and “I’m a Small” T-shirts.

 Coming Next Thursday: The debut of “Don’t Be Tardy For the Wedding,” the Bravo “RHOA” spinoff series starring Kim and her Atlanta Falcon fiancé Kroy Biermann as they head toward the altar last fall. At deadline, we were still undecided if we would recap this or not. It really depends on two factors: Whether or not we can secure an exclusive liquor sponsor for the recaps and we receive a doctor’s note from our psychotherapist in time for Thursday’s premiere.

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