As further evidence that he always gets what he wants (well, everything except an Oscar), Atlanta film mogul and Caribbean island owner Tyler Perry has won a trademark battle over the phrase “What Would Jesus Do?” This despite the fact that the other party, Kimberly Kearney, reportedly filed for the trademark months before Perry ever did. No, Tyler Perry did not coin this phrase. (Nor did Kearney.) But evidently, according to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, that doesn’t matter.
It occurred to us that this could be the beginning of an avalanche of applications with the Trademark Office by Perry and his sycophants. Heck, if he can have “What Would Jesus Do?”, it’s only a matter of time before he attaches his name to other phrases. And so, we can expect the following soon:
- Tyler Perry’s Where’s the Beef?
- Tyler Perry’s Talk to the Hand!
- Tyler Perry’s This is CNN
- Tyler Perry’s Hellur
- Tyler Perry’s I’ll Have What She’s Having
- Tyler Perry’s Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
- Tyler Perry’s I Guess You Could Say I Liked Andy Dufresne From the Start
- Tyler Perry’s Got Milk?
- Tyler Perry’s Amen
- Tyler Perry’s Hi
Finally, expect the auteur to soon make a claim on the apostrophe. And to sue Judy Blume so that we might all one day enjoy “Tyler Perry’s Are You There God? It’s Me Tyler Perry.”