Wacky, tacky, and just plain cool Atlanta Falcons merch

From toasters to doggie hoodies, this is the gear you’ll need to prove you’re a real fan
Little Earth Productions dog hoodie, $24.99–29.99

Courtesy of Little Earth Productions

If there ever were a time to stock up on ridiculous or expensive Falcons merch, it’s now. It’s easy to find a boring old hat and jersey, but you can’t just waltz into a Superbowl party (or, gasp, host one) with rookie gear. Not this year, when Falcons fans are snatching up goods faster than Julio Jones can overtake 100 yards. In fact, Fanatics, the major online retailer behind the official NFL shop, says the Falcons were their top selling team during the NFL playoffs. Little Earth Productions (which sells merch on their own site as well as on Fantopia) says their sales of Falcons merch are up more than four times over November and December, typically the best-selling months. Here’s what you need to prove you’re a hardcore fan this weekend—sartorially speaking.

First off, you’ll want to look beyond the standard-issue tees and spring for something local. The Jordan-inspired “Air Julio” tee by Word of Mouth has gotten lots of buzz of late, but we’re partial to the “Born Dirty” version and the smug “Haters Gonna Hate.” (These come in multiple colors and cuts for both men and women.)

Word of Mouth Born Dirty tee, $20

Courtesy of Word of Mouth

Find other snarky options from design and print shop Fallen Arrows, like the MC Hammer–style “Mattie Ice” tee (hurry, these are almost sold out) by local artist ljkatlanta—or, for your ironic friend, there’s the Elizabethan-era falconer design by Tiger Wizard.

Mattie Ice tee

Photograph courtesy of Fallen Arrows

Fan of both football and the force? You’ll want Buckhead Thread’s “Rise Up” tee, featuring a different kind of Falcon. (Also see the retro raglan-style “Los Falcones de ATL” and “The Falcon Society Tailgater Club” tees.)

More of a pinkies-out kind of guy? Looking to really dazzle and impress? Consider this an occasion for cuff links. You can find a pair with the classic logo at local shop Onward Reserve, but better yet, splurge on these sterling silver beauties from Fanatics made from the erstwhile seats of Fulton County Stadium, the former home of the Falcons.

Sterling and stadium seat cufflinks from Fanatics, $200

Hosting friends on Sunday? Serve toast! Though it may not sound like a sexy appetizer, it will be after this toaster oven chars the Falcons logo onto your bread. (The product description states this toaster will “show everyone that your fandom is unquestionable and 100% real.” Phew!) For something more traditional, break out the cheese. This bamboo cheese board comes with knives and a tempered glass tray for serving.

Atlanta Falcons logo toaster, $30.99

Courtesy of Fanatics

Good fans always wear headgear. Here, a few toppers that make a splash. We’re really digging the Orca trapper hat from the brand ’47. You might be able to get away with that if it actually dips, as predicted, to a somewhat chilly 44 in Atlanta, but if you’re actually getting to Houston, forget it—you’re looking at a high of 77. In that case, you should stick with the zany Bravado bucket hat (or even consider a sweatband).

’47 Bravado bucket hat, $30

Courtesy of '47 Brand

And if you are actually going to the game, you probably know about the NFL’s purse and bag ban, which has every woman toting phones and wallets inside a plastic freezer bag. But for a handbag that makes more of a statement, there’s this clear plastic purse from Little Earth Productions with a chain shoulder strap that coverts to a waist pack. It’s so bad, it’s totally and absolutely good.

Clear plastic purse from Little Earth, $24.99

The totally hardcore fan will dress up the pets (we’ll take one of these hoodies and also the dog) and hang light fixtures in Falcons red over the snack table. There will be Falcons clocks and dueling-helmet pendants and a framed, autographed copy of Deion Sanders’ 1992 Sports Illustrated covers. (Hurry! Only a few left!) Sport a belt buckle that rivals the size of former coach Jerry Glanville’s. And in the hometown of the Walking Dead, you most certainly need to have a Falcons-branded zombie bobble-head doll. Maybe three!

Falcons zombie bobblehead doll, $24.99