The Walking Dead Haiku Recap: Crazy Cheese, please

In which we meet Sgt. Abraham Ford, Dr. Eugene Porter, and Rosita Espinosa
New character: Rosita Espinosa

Gene Page, AMC

Editor’s Note: Don’t get us wrong, we are as obsessive as any TWD fans. But let others pontificate at length. In our view, the show’s narrative conflict is so essential—living vs. undead, civility vs. anarchy, prey vs. predator—that it demands to be distilled in the purest form possible. What better serves that purpose than haiku?

And yes, they may be a little cryptic, but there are a few seventeen-syllable spoilers in this recap.

Season 4, Episode 11: “Claimed”

Everyone’s scattered.
Multiple story lines now.
Please reunite soon.

Carl, Rick, and Michonne
Hang out in suburbia.
Rick’s weak; needs his rest.

Carl and Michonne hunt.
Foraging for food, supplies.
She found Crazy Cheese!

(You can’t say Cheez Whiz
in a zombie filled wasteland?
What? Lawyers around?)

Michonne clowns around
to lift Carl out of his funk.
Will take more than that.

Carl’s voice is changing,
his teen angst running amok.
Rejects Crazy Cheese.

Carl questions Michonne
as they go from room to room;
learns about her son.

Rick hides under bed
while people walk back and forth.
Don’t seem like nice folks.

Rick makes his escape.
Kills bad guy in the bathroom.
What a way to go.

Our trio heads out,
following the old train tracks.
Bound for Terminus?

Meanwhile in Plot B:
Glenn, Tara, and newcomers
ride in armored truck.

Sarge Abraham Ford
is on a vital mission.
Says, “It’s classified.”

Meet Eugene Porter,
the doctor with a mullet.
Might have zombie cure.

Badass in short shorts
Rosita Espinosa
Abraham’s main squeeze.

While Sarge and Glenn fight
walkers emerge from a field.
Eugene opens fire.

A hail of bullets.
Oops! Hit the gas tank, Eugene.
What now, valiant band?

Glenn heads down the road
looking for his wife, Maggie.
Has his own mission.

Eugene tells the Sarge,
“Trust me, I’m smarter than you.”
They join Tara, Glenn.

Everyone’s walking.
The little groups of heroes,
and walkers, of course.